Five Broken Cameras

Jamie and I were hanging out last night and we found ourselves with a few hours to spare. We decided to watch a movie we haven't yet had time to see. My vote was Gandhi, her's was a documentary called Five Broken Cameras. My movie was three hours long, her's was an hour and a half. We watched her movie.

Now, I don't pretend to understand anything about the Middle East and what is going on over there. I only know bits about what Jamie shares when she lived over there in the summer. Anyway, Five Broken Cameras is a documentary filmed by a Palestinian man about his town and how it is being encroached upon by others. Through the course of his filming he breaks five cameras whilst documenting the violence.

I didn't understand the complex situation and politics about what was going on and so I'm not trying to give an opinion on the situation  I'm just trying to say what I saw in the movie, and what I saw was a little town, filled with people who lived in a situation much different than my own. Their situation was dangerous, unknown, and somewhat helpless. I felt fear for them as their land was taken, soldiers threw tear gas at the residents, the town residents threw rocks back, and people were killed. Through all of this the man filming keeps showing his little boy and family. I looked over at Jamie, and I thought about the future we are about to begin together. About how uncertain I sometimes feel, and how fearful I am. I wrote a poem about it the other day, in order to get my thoughts out on paper.

O whither leads the path I take?

On which my entire life 's at stake

Is power of direction mine,

or led by something more divine?

O wherefore don't I know,

O, whither I shall go?

My blind step seems so slow,

but...is that truly so?

For whither leads the path I take?

So shaky are the plans I make.

I do not know what I will be

o whither does this path take me?

Despite this uncertainty I realized how lucky I still am. I am lucky to live in the land I do. I'm not stuck in some situation where men with guns take my land, my livelihood, arrest my children, shoot my friends, and the laws which should protect me are ignored. I live in such security. I have such opportunity  I was a little ashamed of my fears, when Jamie and I are so lucky and have so little to actually fear.

I thought of how many other places there are in the world where people don't have the chances I do. I felt a strong responsibility to help. I have a favorite hymn with words that say, "Because I have been given much I too must give." I feel so blessed and therefore must seek to help and give. Now...I don't mean this as a type of "white mans burden". I don't see myself as any better than any other human beings. These people in the movie were people just like me. They just live somewhere else, have some different customs, language, but they are people like me. Somehow, in the organization of the universe, I was deemed to live in the place I do now. I'm lucky, and I've been given much, so I feel that I too must give.

This kind of thinking was the impetus of my trip, this Longboard for Love endeavor  A way I saw that I too can give, especially to the Romanian people I love. A teacher for these abandoned kids can turn a hopeless situation into a wonderful thriving life. I wanted to help, but I also have a hope that my effort can inspire someone else to see that they too have something special and unique to give to the world. Something that the rest of us need. That we can demonstrate some active integrity, mixed in with love, and help one another. Life is too hard to do it alone, and too challenging to make it more difficult for each other.

I feel that as human beings we must help our fellow man. What could the world do if there was a little more love for one another? In Five Broken Cameras the protesters often pleaded to the humanity of the soldiers  Asking if they had family, homes, pity. I wonder what was going on in the minds of the soldiers as they tried to remain stone faced to the terror.

What would the world be like with a little more LOVE?

Podul Dragostei: Education

How does Bridge of Love actually help the children of Romania if the organization is based in Utah? Well, the answer is Podul Dragostei. Podul Dragostei is the "sister" organization for Bridge of Love. As I understand it they are the "base" for Bridge of Love in Romania. Podul Dragostei actually means "Bridge of Love, in Romanian. They have their own website you can check out here. The site is in Romanian but you can GoogleTranslate it. Romanian is such a beautiful language anyway so by virtue of that face alone you should check it out.

Podul Dragostei releases a newsletter every month or so and in February's newsletter they featured an interview with a young man named Adrian P. He is one of the abandoned children. Adrian just graduated college and was giving some advice to the other children in the foundation. I wanted to share it with you. Be kind, because someone else translated it from Romanian and I tried to better translate parts of it myself.

Adrian 

The reason I wanted to share this interview is because Adrian has just graduated college. He is looking forward to his profession of a teacher. I love his enthusiasm and positive hope. He really treasures his education, and see's the benefit it will be in his life and the lives of others. I'm very happy for him, and I like this because it is what Longboard For Love is trying to help with. Many of these abandoned children are behind in life and therefore struggle with school. Without education, as Adrian says in the interview, they have little hope for a better life than the streets. That is why Longboard For Love is trying to get a teacher for these kids. We're trying to raise just $6,000 which is a years salary for a teacher or tutor in Romania. This will start the teaching program and we can continue on for further years. Thank you for your help, which allows kids like Adrian to succeed in life.

Interview:

Q: When did you find out about the foundation and how?

AP: I got to know the foundation through Danut B, a friend of mine who was already a part of the foundation then. In fact, Irina who was working for the foundation helped me sign up.This was between 2007 or 2008.

Q: Tell me a bit about how the foundation has helped you in your life?

AP: Well, I have no words for it. It helped me emotionally, physically, and even financially, and it helped especially when I was going through rough times in my life. We all go through rough times, and it is good to be able to help each other.
Q: Who is your Social Worker?

AP: Andreea.

Q: Has Andreea been a help for you, has she been there when you needed her?

AP: Of course, very much!

Q: Tell me a little about your life, what did you wanted to be when you were little, and what are you now that you have a diploma in your hands.

AP: Well ever since I was a little child I wanted to be an educator. I wanted to go to Negresti because lots of my classmates and friends had moved there or been transferred there, and the idea was to go there and to be an educator of children. But instead I become a professor. (He says this with a big smile on his face.)

Q: What kind of professor are you?

AP: Religion professor, and I can also teach history.

Q: Recently you finished work for your diploma, isn't that so?

AP: Yes, in middle of February I had my big exam, and finished my thesis.

Q: And what was your thesis about?

AP: It was an interdisciplinary work. Lots of domains entered in. Science. Biology. Religion, because this was the first choice, that was the base, religion.

Q: And what grade did you get on your thesis and your test?

AP: 10 (equivalent of an A in the US)

Q: And how do you think you succeeded ? Why did you want a diploma?

AP: Well it is obvious, without a diploma I would be a nobody. In my life usually the negative things helped me be motivated, not really positive things but negative things.

Q: What do you mean, can you tell me an example?

AP: The lack of a family.

Q: How did not having a family help you?

AP: Well my family lives in very poor conditions, and I promised myself that I wouldn't end up like them. I want to progress, I want to get somewhere in my life. I don't want to end up like them on the street or in any other circumstances.

Q: Do you think the future depends on you, or on the fact that you are abandoned and bad things happened in your life?

AP: No, no, no! The future depends only on you and nothing else, you and God. There is a saying I often use, "you make the bed you lay in." So if you can graduate from college it is obvious that you will have a good future.

Q: Do you have any advice for our children at the foundation who don't want to study, or who are sad because they feel abandoned?

AP: Yes! Don't give up. Don't let yourself down, don't feel sorry for yourselves and victimize yourself. Embrace what you have and remember that you have the capacity overcome difficult things. We all do! And second, be more open with your families, your friends, and anyone around you, because if you close up you won't succeed at anything. People are here to help. And never ever ever ever give up!!

Thank You S-One Helmets!

In preparation for the trip, we've been looking for the best gear to bring with us. Crucial to the trip is the board, and we're grateful for the help from Kahuna Creations and their awesome Black Wave board. Just as important as the board, in my opinion, is the helmet. Both are essential and one should not go without the other. If you have a board and no helmet, don't ride it! Get a helmet first. If you have a helmet and no board, well...I suppose you can wear the helmet around. If you really want to. But unless you're trying to start a safety oriented fashion statement you probably want a board too.

My current helmet is a little small for my head and gets uncomfortable on long rides. I started doing some research to find a new helmet, and I was astounded to find out that my current helmet wasn't certified for safety. I even called the company's customer service to ask them about it. Longboard For Love has been looking for the best helmets for the trip. Safe helmets first. Stylish helmets second. Great news everyone...we found them.

We've been able to work something out with S-One Helmet Company. They have been friendly and helpful with us. We emailed them, explaining the project and our need, and within 45 minutes they had emailed back with more than enough help for us. What prompted us to contact S-One Helmets is their concern for safety. They really emphasize their dual certified helmets the most, and tried to inform their customers about helmet safety instead of and I liked that.

I'll talk about helmet certification in a later post, but this video does an incredible job at explaining and demonstrating what it means.

You may ask me, "Mason why should I wear a helmet? It messes up my hair. Its uncomfortable. I've never crashed yet." "Well," I may reply, "allow me to ascend my soapbox and tell you why."

BECAUSE NOT WEARING A HELMET IS IDIOTIC!!!

Every year, in the USA, there are about 900 deaths from injuries due to bicycle crashes. In 2011 there were 42 deaths related in skateboarding. Now these are deaths, not the concussions and brain damage that can easily be done to your skull and the three pounds of tapioca pudding inside your head. I wrote a post earlier about traumatic brain injury (TBI) and what happens. There are on average 473,947 emergency department visits for TBI each year for children 0-14 years old. The CDC says "Children aged 0 to 4 years, older adolescents aged 15 to 19 years, and adults aged 65 years and older are most likely to sustain a TBI." Below I've shown a chart with the statistics of TBI annually in the United States. The chart brings up a good question at the bottom. How many more people hit their head and suffer damage or bruising to their brain and never receive treatment for it.

So...what does a helmet do? Why don't I just sit inside and protect my head from the frightening world outside? Well...what a helmet does is, in short, slow down your head. When you crash your head is moving at a certain velocity. Upon impact your head comes to a sudden stop. The skull stops but the brain keeps moving and bounces around; bruising itself and tearing on the bone in the skull. If you are wearing a helmet it lengthens the time it takes for your head to stop when it hits something. This causes the impact to be less severe and optimizes your brains chances of survival in an impact. This is why we need to protect our heads. This is why S-One helmets is so wonderful. Because they care so much about certifying your helmets and protecting our heads. Wear a helmet!

The S-One Lifer

Now, if you are one of the valiant ones who has made it to the end of the post I have one more thing for you. My Behavioral Neurobiology professor made each of us students make an oath to him in class. We stood up, put our hands over our hearts, and promised to always wear helmets. He was kind enough to share the pledge we made with me and I've included it here. I expect all of you to make the same pledge. Post it in the comments with your name filled in, and wherever you are, stand up, put your hand over your heart, and pledge to wear a helmet. If anyone looks at your funny, invite them over, I'm sure they need it too.

I [your name] do solemnly swear that I will always wear a helmet when I engage in potentially dangerous activities such as riding a motorcycle, riding a scooter, skateboarding, riding a bike, skiing, horseback riding, playing hockey, lacrosse, football, and baseball, white-water rafting and kayaking, ice skating, roller skating, roller blading, sledding, unicycling, etc.

Good Friends Doing Good

I was looking on Facebook the other day and I noticed something from one of my friends, Andre Heard. It was a link to his blog. I clicked on it and started reading. Andre is living in Namibia, in the Kavango Region, as part of the Peace Corps. It is amazing to read about the experiences he is having there, and I appreciate the good that he is doing.

I thought back to the last time I saw Andre. When I was 14 me and my family moved back from Chile to Kansas. Andre was one of my close school friends in Chile. We worked on the eight grade science fair together when we made a solar powered boat. I was happy he was in that science class because when we got bored we would talk about our "perfect world" we wanted to create. It was full of silly things like dinosaurs, snow that wasn't cold, and a time machine. Its amazing to look at what he is doing now, eight years later. What a wonderful thing it is to see friends who are helping the world and living right.

In the Book of Mormon it tells the story of a group of friends. These friends were a bit more riotous in their youth but changed and went out to do a lot of good. They split up for a number of years and when they get back together Alma, one of the friends is so happy to see what his buddies have been up to. "Alma did rejoice exceedingly to see his brethren; and what added more to his joy, they were still his brethren in the Lord; yea, and they had waxed strong in the knowledge of the truth; for they were men of a sound understanding" (Alma 17:2). He is so happy to see his friends are still good people, doing good things, with their heads on straight.

At Dane's wedding. He is on the left
and looks so happy. 

I feel much the same way. Its so good to see people helping in the world, and its great to see your friends doing amazing things as well. I've been feeling like this a lot lately. My friend from Chile, Richard Hunter, got married recently and I was so happy for him. Another friend, Emmy, calles me every now and again. We like to talk about old times and its great to hear what she is up to in her life, school, work, relationships. My closest friend, Jamie Wheeler, is graduating this April and prepping to enter the workforce of the world. She's also doing something I consider to be very good, and marrying me. I certainly approve. My friend, Jeff Suppes, is part of a project that gets textbooks put in auditory format so blind students can listen to their books.

My little brother Tanner is serving a mission in Ecuador for two years, and I love reading his emails each week. I got an email the other day from a girl named Debra, who went to the Romanian orphanages this past year, and wants to involve herself by helping out with Longboard For Love. My friend I met in Romania, Dane Layton, got married this summer which is a wonderful life choice. I got to go to some of the festivities and it was so good to see one of my friends, doing something that was so good which made him so happy. "Mason did rejoice exceedingly to see his brethren and friends. That they were of sound understanding, and did do many good things of their own free will." That is my own edition of how Alma feels.

We all can do something, we all should do something. Thank you friends and everyone, for doing such good things, and being an inspiration.

Bridge Of Love: Doing Good

Jeff and I when we met in Romania.

This past week my friend Jeff and I got to go up to a Bridge of Love planning meeting where we discussed upcoming events and projects. Jeff has some helpful ideas and loves to help them out. He is minoring in non-profit organization, and I got to go report on the Longboard for Love endeavor. We both lived in Romania and so are very happy to be helping out the wonderful land we love.

It was a wonderful thing to see such great people come together and talk about how to help these children. Bridge of Love is hoping to expand to help more children, and hopefully move beyond just the abandoned children and work against the rampant problem human, especially children, trafficking.

Laurie Lundberg shared a story about a conversation she had with a boy in Romania. She asked him, whenever he got sick, did he have someone to comfort him. When he had a fever was anyone there to help him. He said no, nobody ever did that, helping kids in the orphanage is a job. The employees aren't raising their own kids, they are just giving our the bare necessities. It was a sad a touching story when I thought about how lucky I was to have someone, my mom, there to help me when I was sick.

We then talked about the recent developments for Bridge of Love. There is the upcoming golf tournament, the Scramble for Hope. As well as the Home Machine Quilting Show in Salt Lake. This one is exciting. My future mother in law is making a quilt for Jamie and I and we recently helped her pick out the fabric for it. Its been fun to see how cool quilting actually is, and its super hard too! I'm excited for the quilting show. Too bad I'll be in California on the longboard trip or else I would go to the show.

Also there will be another 5k race, Draculas Dash for Hope. I went to the last one in October and it was a lot of fun and a great way to help other people and get some great exercise. Bridge of Love is also preparing for this years summer camp. Where volunteers fly to Romania and host a camp for the kids. I got to visit at the camp a few years ago right before I left Romania. My family flew over with some supplies and we gave them out and played with the kids.

They just revamped their website and Facebook page too. Make sure to take a look and share them, they look awesome.

I'm happy and excited about all the great things going on with Bridge of Love. It is so good to see people doing a great thing. Last thing, don't forget the donation button to the right or you can make a donation through Paypal here. This is how Bridge of Love is able to operate and help. From the kindness and help other people offer. And any bit helps. Thanks so much.

Everyday Miracle Workers

I believe in God, and that He is very involved in our lives. I don't know what you, my reader, believe in. If its one God, a Christian God, a Muslim God, no God, many Gods, a higher power, scientific principles or what. I do believe that there is one absolute truth, I have my thoughts and I think I'm right...but you have yours and you think you're right. I guess we need to walk on faith now and one day we'll know. I do believe that we can all get along, we all deserve freedom to worship how and what we want. We can and should love one another, and that we have a lot to learn from each other.

I want to share an experience I had today. My life is very busy. I have school, work, responsibilities in my local congregation, wedding planning, and this longboard endeavor.  Life is busy, but...I'm not that different from every other college student trying to scratch out a life in this world.

Homework really hit me hard this week. I had a Physics test to take today and I haven't been able to study much. I do enjoy physics but it is challenging. I've been struggling in the tests and recently it has caused me to develop a testing anxiety. This anxiety causes me to do worse.

Earlier I was sitting in a hallway on campus, waiting for my cycling class. My nose was buried in my physics notes as I tried to remember all the rules and equations. I felt fairly prepared. Suddenly, right after this good thought I was hit by fear for the test and I got really nervous. This made me more nervous because I knew being nervous might make me do bad, and so I got more nervous, and it all just spiraled down from there.

I bowed my head down and said a little prayer, asking God that He would take some notice of my little life and take away the anxiety so I could study and test well. A simple prayer for a small request. But I still felt nervous.

Finding a penny is like one little miracle.
Finding a dime is like ten wrapped into one!

A kid next to me noticed my book and asked me if I had taken the test. I said yes and although I wanted to study and not talk, I asked him if he was in the class. He was and had just taken the test. He didn't tell me anything specific about it, just that he felt he did well and it wasn't too bad and I shouldn't worry. We talked a little bit more about our plans for life, he wants to be a physical therapist, I want to be a doctor. Then he left.

It wasn't until after the guy left that I realized he was the answer to my prayer. My anxiety was gone! Completely. I felt prepared for the test. Funny thing, is he will never know  I don't even know his name. He helped my test fears, and talking about our life goals made me feel better about my fears for the future.

The world is full of small moments like this; ones that lift us just when we need it. Like the guy who gave me a ride to school when I was walking in the snow one day. Or the lady who helped me pay for an essay I needed printed but I was two cents short. Or when I was walking into my test and I found a dime!

Call it our innate human kindness, which it may be, but it is too much "coincidence" for some things to line up just right. At the moment I was having stress over my test, I just happened to be in the hallway, and among tens of thousands of students I just happened to be sitting to one in my class, who just happened to have taken the test, and he just happened to look over and notice my book. Just try to tell me there isn't something out there orchestrating our lives. I say orchestrating instead of dictating because just like a orchestra director he leads us and sets up situations. its our choice to decide whether or not to play the music.

God is aware of our lives, and that is a very encouraging thought. The thought that the Grand Master of the Universe knows what is going on in the lives of his children, that He cares enough about my anxiety over a test, to put me in a situation where I can be comforted. If a test is important I know that bigger things have meaning to Him and he is aware. Not only is he aware, but God is very involved in our lives, and He involves himself mostly through the people around us. We are his hands. May we be listening to the cues so we can be ready to play our part, play our music when the time comes.

Oh, and by the way...I only missed one question on my physics test. Boo-yah.

New Website for Bridge of Love!

This is pretty cool news and something I've been waiting for. Bridge of Love has a new updated website. It looks really good. Check out the new website here. It is really well done. Longboard For Love got a shout out and link as well. So take a look at their site, and their Facebook page as well.

Bridge of Love is involved in some other upcoming endeavors as well. They have their Scramble for Hope golf tournament coming up in May. Also they are the official charity for the HMQS Quilting show coming up. Everybody get those sewing machines and quilts ready!

Busy Day, Empty Life

Well I finally read Tuesdays With Morrie. I've been wanting to ever since I read Mitch Albom's book Have A Little Faith. It seems like Mitch Albom is always talking to incredibly wise old men who are close to dying.  In Tuesdays With Morrie Albom has weekly meetings with an old professor and mentor named Morrie. Morrie is dying and before he goes he shares his experiences and wisdom.

This book made me think about a lot of things. One thing in particular stood out to me. In the book Albom shares an experience where he is at Wimbledon and on a high energy day he was knocked down by a rushing group of reporters and photographers as they tried to chase down a celebrity. This made Albom think about something Morrie said: "So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning." 

Albom expounds on his experience in England at the tennis tournament. He noticed the tabloids and headline newspapers. Alboms says, "People scooped up these tabloids, devoured their gossip, and on previous trips to England, I had always done the same. But now, for some reason, I found myself thinking about Morrie whenever I read anything silly or mindless. I kept picturing him there, in the house...counting his breath, squeezing out every moment with his loved ones, while I spent so many hours on things that meant absolutely nothing to me personally  movie stars, supermodels, the latest noise out of Princess Di, or Madonna, or John F Kennedy Jr. In a strange way, I envied the quality of Morrie's time...Why did we bother with all the distractions we did? Back home, the O.J. Simpson trial was in full swing, and there were people who surrendered their entire lunch hours watching it, then taped the rest so they could watch more at night. They didn't know O.J. Simpson. They didn't know anyone involved in the case. Yet they gave up days and weeks of their lives, addicted to someone else's drama.
          "I remember what Morrie said during our visit: 'The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it." 

The ideas that Morrie and Mitch have remind me of book I read recently, A Pilgrim's Regress, by C.S. Lewis. It chronicles the story of a man named John Bunyan as he searches for an Island. He meets many people with many ideas, but one hit me hard, a man named Mr. Halfways. Halfways brings John to his home and sings for him. During the song John has a vision of the Island, and as he is about to reach the Island something always happens that distracts him from reaching it. He never makes it, because some halfway thing keeps him from it.

I think we do this a lot in our lives. We fill it up with halfway things, things that aren't what we really want, but its good enough for now, and we settle. There are examples of this all over our lives, and Albom gives good examples from his experience at Wimbledon. Last semester I was filling my life with these halfways. I was so busy, but not very happy. Doing so many things and running all over, but never having enough time for what's important. I tried to slow down a little bit this semester so I can focus on the essentials. It has made a difference in my life. This is also one reason why I'm doing this trip. The reasons links to what Morrie said about breaking out of these halfways, "The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning." 

I love what Dieter F. Uchtdorf says in this video I posted below. It is good to slow down, to take a moment for the essentials. To find what really matters, and to devote ourselves to helping others. I'm afraid that if we don't, we may have busy days, but empty lives.

With Your One Wild and Precious Life?

Jamie and I, and you can see the book right there.

I love poetry quite a lot. When I asked my fiancee, Jamie, to marry me I used a book of poetry to propose. I got an old copy of Poems by Robert Frost and I wrote her a note and a page number. When she turned to the page I had written the question, "Will you marry me?" there.

I have favorite poems like "If" by Rudyard Kipling, or Edmund Vance Cooke's "The Eternal Everyday", and I love Edgar Allen Poe, or anything Shakespeare. I just love poems. One that I've liked for a long time now is by Mary Oliver.

The Summer Day

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

It's a poem about the beauties of life. All of the paradoxes that exist in the graceful swan and the lumbering bear. What a beautiful world that allows such diversity! The precious metaphor of the grasshopper who stays a moment and flies away. It gives the imagery of a lazy summer day, and then ends with a reminder how life will end, even these summer days. We are left with a question, "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

This is a question I ask myself a lot, especially in this time where I am trying to discover just what I want to do. This is one reason why I'm doing this trip, because it is something I desire to do with my one wild and precious life. I want to help people. I want to do something I love doing, like longboarding. 

We live in a culture where we love to tell each other to "go for your dreams", "reach for the stars". It is nice to pat each other on the back and say, "Yeah...go for it man." Its fun to say, but our culture only likes to say it, not to live it. It tells you to live for your dreams, but then tells you to wake up to reality.  Eventually we need to "grow up" right? 

We live in a culture that doesn't let people feel good about themselves. We're never skinny enough, never pretty enough, never wearing the right clothes, never eating the right food. One of the worst is that we have dreams about doing great things, like a good marriage or happy family, or helping other people. "That is not success or fulfillment," the world tells us, "What you need is money, this new car, or a nicer phone. A high paying job or promotion would make you happy. Marriage is a failed institution, not to mention constraining. Children whine and slobber. You can't make a living helping other people." 

Its hard to say with all of these influences shouting otherwise, but I don't believe those things. I really think that we can all go for our dreams and we'll be happier doing so. We have this time here on earth to be joyful.    However we don't have much time here in this life because, "Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?" So why not go for what we love.

That's one thing I hope to do with this trip. I really hope to be able to help the Romanian children, I hope to have an adventure, and I really hope that it can inspire others to go for their own dreams. 

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?"

Adoption, Foster Care, Orphanage

As a final installment on the situation of orphans in Romania I want to answer a few questions I've been getting. I've had a lot people ask me about Bridge of Love, the charity foundation I'm working with. What do they do? What is their purpose?

Courtesy of:
 http://momitforward.com/laurie-lundberg

Well on the Bridge of Love website it says, "Bridge of Love’s mission is to provide comfort and hope to Romania’s abandoned children by assisting them on a path toward lifelong happiness and success. Since 2001, Bridge of Love has been instrumental in rescuing Romanian children abandoned in orphanages and hospitals and placing them with caring foster families in their own country.
          Bridge of Love has spent the past ten years saving these abandoned and orphaned children. The foundation began its mission by working to find loving homes for the children and helping to place them, one child at a time, in foster care with Romanian families.
         Currently, there are nearly 40 children in foster care who receive support from Bridge of Love, plus a group of six older teens and young adults who were abandoned as children." People then ask me why foster care? Why not adoption? Isn't foster care still hard and unstable for the children?

Well that may be true. Foster care is still difficult for kids, but it is the best we can do. Adoption in Romania is incredibly difficult. Domestic Adoption is allowed but is is prohibitively expensive. There really isn't much in the way of adoption there, only about 700 to 900 children are adopted each year; a very small percentage of the abandoned children overall. 

Another problem with Domestic Adoption is that there are lots of difficult laws making it very tricky. One article shares that, "In Romania, to be considered "adoptable," a child's biological parents must be deceased or indicate that they have no interest in having a relationship with the child. But beyond this, all relatives as distant as siblings of grandparents also must sign away rights to the child."

Denisa, Alin's little girl

I remember one man I knew. His name was Alin and he was of Roma decent. He and his wife, Anka, were very poor and lived in this little field in a small shack they had constructed. I went to visit them in their "home" one day and I met their children. There was Denisa, a darling toddler girl, and little Alin Jr., who was running around the dirty field barefoot and naked. Every so often Alin would confide in me one of his biggest fears; that he wasn't providing well enough for his children and couldn't provide for them any more. He wondered about giving them to an orphanage where their lives may be secure but it frightened him. He kept his children with him and did everything he could to provide, which often wasn't good enough. I don't know if what he was doing was the best thing or the right thing. I do know, however, that there are lots of people in very similar situations, who cannot provide for or support their children and have to give them up.

An article I read mentions infants who have been abandoned in the hospital and says, "These days babies abandoned at hospitals are likely to stay there until their second birthday. New laws banning the institutionalization of children under two have backfired for them. Only when they turn two will they be legally allowed to go to a children's home. Not that that would be much better." The babies just stay there and the hospitals have too many children to give them sufficient comfort or stimulation. The infants give up on crying because nothing happens and nobody listens when they do. They just lay there silently, and the ones who are big enough to sit up just sit there rocking back and forth, showing that they severely lack stimulation.*

Foreign adoption used to be very common in the 1990's. However in 2001 and 2002 Romania enacted legislation to ban international adoptions. The main reason they stated for doing so was to eliminate black market trade in children (another problem Bridge of Love is trying to address). Romania was heavily pressured by the European Union of ban international adoptions as a condition to enter the EU. One English representative in the EU in particular made it her personal cause to eliminate foreign adoptions for Romania. 

One of the boys who came to the yearly activity
day** I had the chance to help out at in 2011.

When I asked the Lundbergs, who founded Bridge of Love, about the adoption situation they said, "Laurie Lundberg started efforts to facilitate foster care because of her belief that children were better off in foster care (in a family) than in an institution - a feeling that we share along with a lot of others. It was a solution better than the alternative - even though we would have loved to have seen the children formally adopted."

This is why Longboard For Love is trying to help. We're doing all we can do personally for these kids. I really like the project of getting a tutor for all of these kids. Lots of them come from difficult situations and circumstances and they are a little disadvantaged. Myself, I'm a college student right now and I've really gained an appreciation for the importance and power of education. Helping them with their education will help them to better their lives and make something more for themselves.

What a wonderful work.



*For more insights on why children need stimulation or care in orphanages click here

**To see more pictures from the Yearly activity days Bridge of Love does click here or here.

All You Need is Love

Harry Harlow

I wanted to share some of my thoughts about the Romanian children and their situation. As I've been thinking on the subject I realized that, were I to write it all down it would make for an interesting but excessively long blog post. Therefore I decided to do another series of posts leading you through my thought process. Similar to my posts on service.

Love at Good Park,
 by Deborah Blum

This past semester I read a very interesting book entitled "Love at Goon Park." It is a biography of Harry Harlow, one of the prominent psychologists in the study of affection and attachment, and probably one of the reasons why your mother held you as a child.

Before Harlow's time, in the first half of the 20th century, the world of science and psychology was charging ahead into misdirected "progress" as it so often does. Psychologists believed that a child's bond with its mother was based only on the mother as a food source, and any emotion were just conditioned responses to external stimuli. Any discussion of love or affection in child rearing was deemed unscientific, or just mushy sentimental fluff.

Some scientists, like Watson with his little Albert experiments, took this thinking too far. In more of a case study than a true experiment Watson took an infant named Albert and conditioned him to fear anything furry or white, like a rabbit. Watching videos of the process scares even me and looks like an old man just terrorizing a helpless child. However, thinkers of the day took this "experiment" to prove how children are just conditioned to do certain things. In fact, Wilson went on to write a best-selling book where he cautioned parents of the damaging consequences of love and affection.

The "Baby Tender" created by Skinner

B.F. Skinner and all of his behaviorist ideas had a thing or two to say as well. He believed that every single thing about us is a conditioned response to a stimuli. In theory  you could "condition" or "create" the idea human being with the right environment and stimuli. He took the "Skinner Box" used in his pigeon studies and designed one for children, and even placed his own daughter inside of it. It allowed for the child to be isolated in its own space and a piece of glass on one side allowed visual interaction between child and parent.

Forgive me for saying this, especially since I have the benefit of 20/20 hindsight vision, but these ideas were dumb. Especially given the evidence against it. The isolation that so many scientists were calling for was in fact damaging the children. In orphanages where children lacked the love and affection mortality rates were astronomical. Children would literally turn their faces to the wall and die from lack of will to live, which resulted from a lack of love. The children were living in deplorable circumstances.

One anecdote tells of an orphanage where mortality rates were high in all sections of the hospital...except for one. All the researchers strove to find out the difference. Diet? Peers? What was it? The answer was that when the cleaning lady in charge of that section of the hospital came in at night, she would pick up the babies and hold them while she worked.

Harry Harlow enters the picture with his monkey studies. A famous experiment of his, which is featured on the cover of the book above, is where he took infant monkeys and gave them surrogate mothers. The surrogates were made of wire and wood. Two of these surrogates were placed side by side. One had a milk bottle, and the other was wrapped in a terry cloth to make it warm and soft. Monkeys spend a vast majority of their time with the softer mother and only went to the wire mother when they needed food. This debunked the thinking that we form our relationship based on food alone, and showed instead that we need love, we need affection, that is what matters most to us.

In a Romanian Orphanage

After battling the zeitgeist of his day Harlow, and others, were able to show us just how much we need love. This was able to prevent situations seen in the hospitals and mortality rates dropped significantly. It now became a thing of the past. At least...it should have. However, orphanage situations in Romania mirror quite close to the way things were run in the early 1900's. Bridge of Love describes the situation as follows,  "Babies and toddlers stayed in their cribs nearly all day, starved for love and attention. The bedroom walls were bare, and a cold breeze seeped through the windows of the poorly heated orphanage/hospital.
               There were no blankets or toys in the room, and the workers changed the babies’ diapers in silence. The toddlers rocked their little bodies back and forth for hours, the only stimulation they could create. The older toddlers banged their heads on the side of the crib—over and over—creating a new noise and huge lumps on their heads.
               Laurie described the situation as “children living in a zoo.” They each had their own cage from which they couldn't escape. Most of the children had been abandoned at birth, with little or no information about them left behind. There were no plans for these children—they just existed."

It makes me sad when I'm reading a journal article on an attachment or rearing study and instead of some monkey experiment, the researchers were just able to go to Romania and observe the effects there. This is why I feel strongly about what I'm doing, and I'll explain further in later posts. These children need help, and we are in a position to offer it.

Dracula's Dash for Hope 2012

Recently Bridge of Love had their annual 5K fundraiser race, Dracula's Dash For Hope. I know its been a while since it happened but I wanted to talk about it.

I went to the race this year only as a volunteer. I really regret not having run the race. I woke up at about 6:00 am, put on my hippie costume and drove down to the race with other volunteers and race participants  We arrived in the dark of the morning and helped set everything up. There were people running around everywhere, marking the course, hanging signs, setting up speakers. I wasn't entirely sure what was happening, but the coordinators had it all under control, and everything came together very nicely.

The kids lining up for their race. I think that the Captain Hook kid
had the coolest costume.

I helped set up and then I was in charge of running the information booth. I lingered near the set up of pictures and pounced on people answering their questions and giving information. I had a lot of fun.

It was nice to see some friends of mine there. I was surprised to see the Lundbergs who were supposed to be out of the country, however, due to a passport problem, they had to stay. I'm not going to lie, I was happy they were there.

The children's race started. Kids all lined up in their really adorable costumes. The gun was fired and they were off. The race was only half a mile but some of those kids were intense and really racing hard. Parents ran alongside and a man in Dracula garb walked the course to make sure no one got lost.

Soon after the 5K race started. Everyone lined up and I was reminded of my high school cross country days. That sinking nervous feeling you get as you stand on the line waiting for the race to start. The gun went off, and the race began.

To be fair, the course was pretty tricky. Wet grass and quite a few hills. There was a lot of competition and it was a lot of fun to watch. Since I was silly and didn't run I had some free time, which I took advantage of by taking a moment to talk to Chad Hymas. Chad Hymas is a motivational speaker and author. I read his book a few months before the race and was delighted to see him there. I had been forewarned about his presence and so I brought my copy of his book, and, like a silly little fan, nervously asked him to sign it for me. Which he was kind enough to do.

I took some pictures, which I've put into the blog. There was a nicer camera and photographer documenting the event, and as soon as I get access to the good photos of the event I'll be sure to post them or put a link so you can see the fun and festivities.

The race ended and prizes were given out. Chad Hymas was at the microphone for all of this. All in all, I had a really great experience, and I'm sure many more did as well.

A successful fundraiser! Which really helped to raise money to support the Romanian orphans. It really...it really makes me so happy to see so many people coming together to help out in the world. People just looking to do something kind for someone who needs it. What a wonderful wonderful thing it is to serve another person.

Don't Forget!

Don't forget about the Bridge of Love's fundraising 5K, Dracula's Dash for Hope. It's coming up this October 13. You can register here for the event. Its a really fun race and a great family friendly event. This helps to raise money to help the to assist abandoned children, teens and young adults in Romania. This is the organization I am doing my longboarding trip for on April 29th. They are wonderful people who are doing a wonderful thing, and it is wonderful that they have these events so we can help out.

The kids race will begin at 8:30 am. There will be refreshments, medals and prizes. Costumes are encouraged but not required. The 5k is $25 through Oct. 1st or $35 after. The kids race is $10. Come and have some fun, get a workout, and do something great for children who need our help. 

Kids race and a larger 5K

Fun activities

Do What You Love, For What You Love

Oradea. I lived here for six months of my two years

School has started and I'm quite enjoying it. My classes are a lot of fun and so are the people I'm with. I'm really grateful for my opportunity to gain an education and better my own life. To be honest I feel like I've lived a charmed life. This is one reason why I'm so excited for this trip, not just cause longboarding and camping with Kenton will be a blast, but because I feel like its another good opportunity to give back, to give to so many important things in my life.

Romania. I loved my time in Romania. Living there with those great people and talking to them each day. I went to serve them and help how I could, but more than helping them, they helped me. My mission influenced my life and has shaped me to be much of who I am today. I gave two years to be in Romania and I am excited to be able to give more. Especially to help the struggling children in Romania.

Longboarding. I'm happy to be about to promote the sport of longboarding. Board sports are an amazing thing. There are no real teams, no huge clubs, it can be a very solitary thing, but somehow it has become a culture and activity that has grown. It has been a pastime of mine for some years now and I really love it.

I'm happy to be longboarding, or doing something I love, to help Romania, or for something I love.

It is much to vague though to say, "Lets raise money to help Romanian children!" What does that really mean? The Bridge of Love foundation needs a lot of things, but one area we can help is in education for the orphan children. Going from the orphanage to foster homes and entering schools, many of the children struggle and can't get the attention they need. While it is important the help the children to get better care, they also need help getting a chance to succeed in life. Education is where their chance is to improve. Education is yet another thing I love and it is exciting to me that I can help someone get a better education. I've had my help, good teachers, scholarships, and if I can help out in a small but similar way, I fell privileged to be able to do so.

What we are hoping to do is to kick start the tutoring program from the foundation. We are hoping to raise enough funds to hire a tutor for the first year, and from there we can keep it going in other ways. Now, this begs the question, how much does a tutor cost for a year? In the States it's quite a bit of money, but in Romania it isn't that much at all. We have the estimation of $6,000 to hire a tutor for a year. I feel like this is a goal that is within our grasp, if we get enough people, who want to do something, no matter how big or how small, to change the world, to make a difference.

Making a Difference

I really love to read books. Over this summer I was able to just read and read and read. I'm the kind of person who reads with a pen in their hand and writes all over everything. I underline, make notes, insert thoughts, and circle page numbers of really good pages. I enjoy doing this because it helps me process my thoughts about the book and its a lot of fun to return to a book and remember everything I learned.

The other day I was sitting in front of my bookcase, looking at my books (which I do in an almost OCD kind of way) and selecting them at random, revisiting old thoughts. I picked up a book, 1491 by Charles C. Mann, and I flipped through it. It is a book about the Americas before Columbus came and I remember enjoying it very much. I turned to the cover page where I had summed up my thoughts into one sentence. When I was 17, I had written, "One man, can change the entire course of history." I had been impressed over and over how one man would change everything. Whether things changed for good or bad, it often rested on the decision of a single person, or one small group.

Wilberforce

Tyndale

There are good people who can change the world. Who knows if Columbus, Cortes, or Pizarro's impacts are ultimately for good or bad, but there are other heroes of mine. William Wilberforce is someone I truly admire and respect, he truly changed the world. His biography has a special place on my shelf, and I even have his portrait on my desk next to William Tyndale, Sir Thomas Moore (oh the irony), and a person from the Latter-Day Saint canon of scripture named Moroni. One person can make a difference.

This is something I think about in my own life. I'm 22 and planning the direction I wish to take. One thing that seems paramount to me is that my life have meaning, that I make a difference in some way. I don't want my career path to be all about making the most money I can make. That would feel like a pair of golden handcuffs to me. I just want to help, to change something.

Moore

Moroni

I get so happy when I hear about good people doing good things. Like the Lundberg's and the Bridge of Love foundation, humanitarian groups, my friend Jeff who just wants to save the world, Boy Scouts doing their Eagle Projects, different religions and organizations reaching out to people in need, and even individuals who find the fire to right a wrong.

One such individual is a new-found friend, Chris, who is doing something quite similar to my own longboarding endeavor. He is sacrificing a lot of time and energy to make a difference where he sees one must be made. Hearing about people like him makes me happy. To know that the world still has good people. Check out his website. Hopefully his and my blogs help to show that any normal person can make a difference. You can take anything from a career, or a life's work, or a quirky hobby of yours and make a difference.

                                  One man can change the entire course of history.

Chris at TheLongPush.blogspot.com