Podul Dragostei: Education

How does Bridge of Love actually help the children of Romania if the organization is based in Utah? Well, the answer is Podul Dragostei. Podul Dragostei is the "sister" organization for Bridge of Love. As I understand it they are the "base" for Bridge of Love in Romania. Podul Dragostei actually means "Bridge of Love, in Romanian. They have their own website you can check out here. The site is in Romanian but you can GoogleTranslate it. Romanian is such a beautiful language anyway so by virtue of that face alone you should check it out.

Podul Dragostei releases a newsletter every month or so and in February's newsletter they featured an interview with a young man named Adrian P. He is one of the abandoned children. Adrian just graduated college and was giving some advice to the other children in the foundation. I wanted to share it with you. Be kind, because someone else translated it from Romanian and I tried to better translate parts of it myself.

Adrian 

The reason I wanted to share this interview is because Adrian has just graduated college. He is looking forward to his profession of a teacher. I love his enthusiasm and positive hope. He really treasures his education, and see's the benefit it will be in his life and the lives of others. I'm very happy for him, and I like this because it is what Longboard For Love is trying to help with. Many of these abandoned children are behind in life and therefore struggle with school. Without education, as Adrian says in the interview, they have little hope for a better life than the streets. That is why Longboard For Love is trying to get a teacher for these kids. We're trying to raise just $6,000 which is a years salary for a teacher or tutor in Romania. This will start the teaching program and we can continue on for further years. Thank you for your help, which allows kids like Adrian to succeed in life.

Interview:

Q: When did you find out about the foundation and how?

AP: I got to know the foundation through Danut B, a friend of mine who was already a part of the foundation then. In fact, Irina who was working for the foundation helped me sign up.This was between 2007 or 2008.

Q: Tell me a bit about how the foundation has helped you in your life?

AP: Well, I have no words for it. It helped me emotionally, physically, and even financially, and it helped especially when I was going through rough times in my life. We all go through rough times, and it is good to be able to help each other.
Q: Who is your Social Worker?

AP: Andreea.

Q: Has Andreea been a help for you, has she been there when you needed her?

AP: Of course, very much!

Q: Tell me a little about your life, what did you wanted to be when you were little, and what are you now that you have a diploma in your hands.

AP: Well ever since I was a little child I wanted to be an educator. I wanted to go to Negresti because lots of my classmates and friends had moved there or been transferred there, and the idea was to go there and to be an educator of children. But instead I become a professor. (He says this with a big smile on his face.)

Q: What kind of professor are you?

AP: Religion professor, and I can also teach history.

Q: Recently you finished work for your diploma, isn't that so?

AP: Yes, in middle of February I had my big exam, and finished my thesis.

Q: And what was your thesis about?

AP: It was an interdisciplinary work. Lots of domains entered in. Science. Biology. Religion, because this was the first choice, that was the base, religion.

Q: And what grade did you get on your thesis and your test?

AP: 10 (equivalent of an A in the US)

Q: And how do you think you succeeded ? Why did you want a diploma?

AP: Well it is obvious, without a diploma I would be a nobody. In my life usually the negative things helped me be motivated, not really positive things but negative things.

Q: What do you mean, can you tell me an example?

AP: The lack of a family.

Q: How did not having a family help you?

AP: Well my family lives in very poor conditions, and I promised myself that I wouldn't end up like them. I want to progress, I want to get somewhere in my life. I don't want to end up like them on the street or in any other circumstances.

Q: Do you think the future depends on you, or on the fact that you are abandoned and bad things happened in your life?

AP: No, no, no! The future depends only on you and nothing else, you and God. There is a saying I often use, "you make the bed you lay in." So if you can graduate from college it is obvious that you will have a good future.

Q: Do you have any advice for our children at the foundation who don't want to study, or who are sad because they feel abandoned?

AP: Yes! Don't give up. Don't let yourself down, don't feel sorry for yourselves and victimize yourself. Embrace what you have and remember that you have the capacity overcome difficult things. We all do! And second, be more open with your families, your friends, and anyone around you, because if you close up you won't succeed at anything. People are here to help. And never ever ever ever give up!!

Be Satisfied. Be Grateful. Be Giving

I've noticed that recently I have really had a thing for Jewish Authors. I loved Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning, and Will to Meaning, as well as his Man's Search for Ultimate Meaning. I recently read Harold Kushner's How Good Do We Have to Be? I'll read most anything by Martin Buber. I just really like these books. I realized how many of them I have been reading when I finished another book by a Jewish writer. Mitch Albom's Have a Little Faith.

I loved the book. It was a Christmas present to me from my future in-laws who enjoyed it and know I love to read. I own a copy of Mitch Albom's Tuesdays With Morrie but I've never read it. I intend to do that soon because I really like his writing. In Have a Little Faith Mitch is gives chronicles meetings with his rabbi, Albert Lewis. Mitch is preparing a eulogy for the eventual death of the rabbi and meets with him frequently to prepare.

I love the story and the fact that it's true. I really learned a lot and enjoyed Mitch's conversations with his spiritual leader. One story I liked in particular. Mitch asks the rabbi "What makes a man happy?" and his rabbi answers saying, "The thing's society tells us we must have to be happy- a new this or that, a bigger house, a better job. I know the falsity of it. I have counseled many people who have all these things, and I can tell you that they are not happy because of them.

         "The number of marriages that have disintegrated when they had all the stuff in the world. The families who fought and argued all the time, when they had money and health. Having more does not keep you from  wanting more. And if you always want more-to be richer, more beautiful, more well known-you are missing the bigger picture, and I can tell you from experience, happiness will never come."
          They are interrupted by a baby crying in the hospital and the rabbi says, "Now, that child reminds me of something our sages taught. When a baby comes into the world, its hands are clenched right? Why?  Because a baby, not knowing any better, wants to grab everything, to say, 'The whole world is mine'
          "But when an old person dies, how does he do so? With his hands open. Why? Because he has learned the lesson. We can take nothing with us." 

I think this story shows where we can find true happiness. We cannot become happy by amassing things. In fact, as Viktor Frankl says, perhaps our quest for happiness is the very thing keeping us from true joy. If we focus on receiving things and being happy ourselves we are missing the true point. I don't believe happiness is the end goal. I think it is the by product of a life well lived. It comes from thinking of others and helping. Not by taking and getting, but by letting go and giving.

Mitch Albom continues the conversation between him and Lewis.

So, have we solved the secret of happiness?
"I believe so," he [the rabbi] said.
Are you going to tell me?
"Yes. Ready?"
Ready.
"Be satisfied."
That's it?
"Be grateful."
That's it?
"For what you have. For the love you receive. And what God has given you."
That's it?
He looked me in the eye. Then he sighed deeply.
"That's it."

Be satisfied, be grateful, and I would add, be giving.

A Simple Christmas Gift

Christmas lights in Bucharest Romania

I've been thinking a lot about Christmas recently. Most especially when I was in Romania. Those where special Christmas times for me. My second Christmas I was in Sector Five of București. It was a frigid winter where we would walk outside and moisture would freeze to everything. Our coats, the fences, the trees, our faces, everything. As cold as this was it did look beautiful.

I was far away from my family and looking forward to talking to them on Skype come Christmas Day. The distance made it really hard for them to send me anything for Christmas so I wasn't really expecting anything. This was actually really liberating. I was away from all of the hustle and bustle of the season. Away from wanting gifts and things like that. It taught me that I don't really need things. All that matters are relationships, like talking with my family or visiting the people I was working with.

Ferentari, A neighborhood in Bucharest where
Mihaela lives.

During this season we were working with the Nița family. They lived in a very poor and dangerous area of town. It was hard to get people to make visits with us because they were afraid of that part of the city. Mihaela was the mother and sole breadwinner her family of three children. She worked a security job to try and make ends meet. They lived in more than humble circumstances. Little food, few possessions  lots of bills.

Despite these trials they tried hard to be happy and to have faith. One day we visited and Mihaela had "decorated" the apartment. A few ribbons, a couple Santa figurines, and picture of the nativity. We complemented her on the added touch to her home and the festive feeling it brought. Flattered, Mihaela presented us with a gift. One which is now amoung my most cherished Christmas gifts.

She took an old Santa figure, the kind that is supposed to dance and sing, but was too old, broken, and had nor batteries, and gave it to me as a remembrance of my București Christmas. It was one of the grandest decorations they had, but they gave it from the bottom of their hearts, sharing all they had to give, all they could give. I was profoundly touched by the present. That this family, who often had no food in the refrigerator, who had no career or financial stability, no new things of their own, could take a moment to think about me.

It taught me something important. We don't need to get. We don't need the big flashy gifts to have a Merry Christmas. It sounds cliche but Christmas really is about giving. Selflessly offering what we have to help the people we love, or people in need. I was given a plastic broken doll and I was immensely happy. Not because of the gift, but for what it represented; the relationships and friendships formed with this family.

This year I've only put up one decoration in my apartment. A little broken, plastic, Santa Claus that I keep on my desk. It reminds me, especially in this time of year, not to worry about the getting, but to seek to find how I can give to others. It doesn't have to be big, it just has to be something, and it has to be sincere.